Bion's concept of containment, explained

A quick stab at an explanation of containment, as jargon-free as I can make it.

Humans are natural pattern-matchers and mimics, and much of our communication is performed unconsciously, that is, without conscious intent. This is worth keeping in mind when we talk about the wants and beliefs expressed in my example.

In containment, there are two people we'll label as sender (S) and receiver (R). It proceeds as follows:

1. Suppose S is feeling vulnerable and humiliated about something--say, having been turned down when they asked someone else (call that person P) on a date. If these feelings are intolerable to S, they won't want to feel them, so may end up projecting them onto someone else, say, R. In this scenario, let's say R asks S if they'd like to see a movie together, and S responds in the way S imagined P responded, so as to make R feel hurt.
2. R feels a sting from humiliation, but knows S well enough to see that this isn't S's characteristic behavior--that something is off--and has the intuition that S is having a problem that S would rather not talk about.
3. As a result, rather than respond by being angry with S, R chooses to respond in a way that reflects back R's acknowledgement of their own feelings about the rejection and a reassurance about their relationship: "Oh! I'm bummed about that--I enjoy seeing movies with you, and was looking forward to seeing this one with you especially. I'll look into seeing it with someone else tomorrow, but please let me know if you change your mind."

Thus, we're talking about a three-step process:

1. S has an intolerable feeling and tries to get R to feel it as well.
2. R feels the emotion S is projecting and processes it.
3. R reflects back to S the processed thoughts and emotions, thoughts and emotions that S can tolerate and make use of to handle similar situations in the future.

In this way, R is acting as a container for S's intolerable emotions, and S's emotional outburst is contained by R.

Note that in step 2, the emotion that S finds intolerable and that R tolerates may well be unconscious to both of them. Projective identification and containment are not therapeutic techniques, but aspects of everyday human interaction. That said, when we act as containers for others, they can eventually figure out how to manage triggering situations without us. In such a case, they are self-contained. A major goal in psychoanalytic therapy is to help patients with problems handling their own feelings to become self-contained.

That containment typically occurs unconsciously, however, doesn't mean that one can't become better at being a container for others. Performed expertise is often done unconsciously, but is nonetheless acquired through careful, deliberate practice.